Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
