She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
