how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
