Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
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