I accidentally had phone sex last night
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Randomize
