Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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