Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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