How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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