so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
