i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
