So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
