Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
