he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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