my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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