Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
