Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
