thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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