she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
