I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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