seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
