okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
