Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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