And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
