Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
