Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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