PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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