sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
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