it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
