the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
i just had sex bonerless
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Randomize
