if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
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