two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
