Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
