i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Rumble strips road head = magical
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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