Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
