Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
