worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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