She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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