So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
