Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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