i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
