ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
