Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
