Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
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