It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
