hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
