"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
