He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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