i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
