So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
