some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
