What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
