he wants to bone in the snuggie
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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