we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
