what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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